“Don’t Trust Your Soul to No Backwoods, Southern Lawyer” – Reba

Most everyone by now has at least heard the name Murdaugh. If you have not, do a little search and be prepared for the True Crime/Crazy rabbit hole that you are about to enter. This is a good place to start: https://www.nytimes.com/article/murdaugh-murders-alex-paul.html. I am certainly not about to try and give any thoughts on this case, because I do not have enough information, all I know is that the entire situation – while entertaining – is a massive tragedy. So many lives were lost, and many more impacted by selfish actions from those that did not have consequences for bad actions.

“Did she just call this murder case entertaining?” Yes, yes I did. Over the years the popularity and dramatization of real life traumas has increased and even has it’s own genre now, True Crime. I think “True Crime” has exploded because for the majority of people doing something that lands on national news or a podcast, is so foreign we just want to know how and why. I wonder if the obsession my generation has with these cases stems from Nancy Drew novels, or my favorite – Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? I admit I was obsessed with moving up the detective ranks, I mean being called “Gum Shoe” was terrible.

The first case I remember with major exposure was the OJ Simpson trial. My amazing teacher let us listen to the trial verdict on the radio (yes, I know this ages me). There are still interviews, documentaries and shows that discuss this tragic case today. I doubt the truth of either case, Simpson or Murdaugh, will ever be known and provided to us. Which not knowing, perpetuates the obsession. I did watch the newest Murdaugh installment created by Netflix, and I was pleasantly surprised at how much they discussed the victims. Oftentimes the exposure is about the villain(s) and not the victim(s). We tend to remember the names of the people that committed these crazy crimes and forget those that were harmed. I also think the obsession continues because if it is on TV or podcast, we are able to remove ourselves. While we know the events took place and are true, there is enough of a distance that it can seem to be and/or register as fiction. Allowing the majority of us to continue watching and listening to these shocking and dark events.

One thing I have learned is that any one person is truly capable of anything…..good or bad. If you watch a Dateline, almost always people are described as “lighting up any room” or “everyone loved her/him” and even “too kind for this world.” I am waiting for the one person to say, “Yeah, she was nice, but would also punch you in the face.” I mean we all have our bad days right? Joking aside, I think it is time for all of us to admit it is a bit morbid for so many of us to have this strange obsession with True Crime, no matter how entertaining it can be!

There are countless movies/podcasts/documentaries that focus on and expose all types of cases in various stages. Drop your favorites in the comments so we can all check them out as well!

Just a little funny, as a child I called my dad a backwoods, Southern lawyer because of this song, haha! Luckily he was NOT what Reba was singing about, although I’m sure there are a few out there, somewhere……


“How can I help you to say goodbye?”

There are few things in life that I can say for certain will happen – hunger, sleep and death. It could never rain again or the sun might not shine, happiness is not guaranteed and life can deal some shit hands sometimes. I hate knowing that in a short amount of time, because honestly even forever wouldn’t be long enough, that I am going to have to find a way to say goodbye again….

This time my goodbye is for George. If you don’t know George, you truly are missing out a little bit. George loves unabashedly, enjoys all the foods, and has perfected the cuddle and snuggles. I could go on and on about how wonderful George is, or how unfair it is that something out of our control is going to make us have to say goodbye so soon. Why are goodbyes so hard??

In 1993, Patty Loveless released the song, “How Can I Help You Say Goodbye.” It is a progression of a young girl moving away from her best friend, that young girl growing up and going through a separation from her partner, and then the death of her mother. In all these times her mother asks how can she help? The truth is nothing truly helps for a goodbye – whether it be from death, or separation or some other change. One line says “it’s ok to hurt and it’s ok to cry,” and it is ok to not be ok.

It will take some time for me to be ok, but one thing I know is that I will eventually be ok. I’ve had some big goodbyes in my lifetime and I’ve managed to get through them all. Knowing, even more so because it is extremely evident, that the remaining time with George is so finite, it has changed my view on life. Life is too short to be miserable, not just one or two bad days, but consistently not happy, NOT OK! There are a lot of options for help to get things better. Do not be afraid to make a change because of the unknown, live like George. Remember to reward yourself for even the small victories, remember to take time to “stop and smell the roses” along the journey, and above all practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

I know this was a little off course from my previous posts, but honestly 2022 was a year full of gut punches. I’m working on my outlook for 2023 and hope to come out with a few less bumps and bruises. This means being more honest with myself when things are just plain crappy and when things are great. Acknowledging both is one change in my mental health journey and it’s helping me so far….I’m still learning to let go of things that are not in my control and rolling with the punches a little easier. I’m blessed to have a great support system, but that doesn’t mean I utilize them. I’m a silent sufferer you see, and don’t want to “be a burden.” I’m learning and trying to be better about that as well.

So if you are one of the “waiting for a sign” type….HERE YOU GO! Make the change, take the class, binge watch a silly show over the weekend, go out, stay in, just try to make yourself happy in a healthy way! It truly is just one step at a time.

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