“In film and television, a meet cute is a scene in which the two people who will form a future romantic couple meet for the first time, typically under unusual, humorous, or cute circumstances.” ~ Wikipedia.
Let’s set the scene: It is a brisk, February morning. A young woman is up early to take her puppy outside to potty, working on off-leash training. In the neighboring apartment complex, a young man stirs to take his newly adopted pup out to potty as well. Bundled in their finest sweat pants and hoodies, the two young adults commence with their new morning tasks.
The young, energetic puppy is playing in the grass next to the back alley road, not going potty as mom commands. In a matter of seconds the puppy is running down the road towards a man with a dog on a leash. Now I know this is sounding oddly like Disney’s 101 Dalmatians, I promise it is not. The woman is screaming, “he is nice, get back here, no!” The man is pulling his dog back, “he’s not great on a leash.” Fear is coming from both humans. The pups? The pups begin playing as if they are long lost best friends.
This causes the man and woman to laugh. He tells her that his dog was recently adopted and sometimes has aggression issues. While saying this, her pup is currently wrestling with his dog and seems fine….Their conversation quickly turns to football. You see they are in SEC Country and this dog is sporting a Big 12 collar and leash! Parting ways with only first names and the guy saying, “we should let our dogs play sometime,” the young woman doesn’t see the dog or man again for a few weeks…..
This is my own personal meet cute. This is how Kyle and I met, because of George and Snyder, in the back alley behind our apartments. George is a boxer, and literally loves everyone he meets. So him running up to someone was not new to me. What was new? Sndyer, Kyle’s rescue dog. Snyder is unapologetically protective of his pack. But from day one, Snyder has loved George and me. His collar and leash? Kansas State. I made a comment about it and him being in Alabama, Kyle was impressed. To be honest, my knowledge of KState at the time was limited to knowing that one of our top football recruits switched from Alabama to KState. After I met the legendary Coach Snyder, I did inform him that I could now pull for KState, but wasn’t sure I could forgive him for that steal. I am a little more versed in all things KState, I even wear purple, but I’m truly thankful he isn’t an Auburn fan!
It has been almost 7 years since that meet cute. In the time since then, Kyle and I have both grown, as individuals and as a couple. A lot has happened in these 7 years, but for now we will just touch on being married. We have been married just over 3 years. A college friend of mine (she is part of the Hot Momma club – girls from college that were amazing) recently posted on Facebook regarding her 1 year wedding anniversary. She posted, “Over the past year many people have asked me about marriage and how things are going. Seems like a normal enough question but I’m sure my answer was not the typical response. I chose not to give the “social media, rose colored, cherry on top” answer that most tend to give. My response was the hard truth and many were not ready to hear that “marriage is hard work” and that depending on the week I may not even like my husband. Harsh, but true. I didn’t want to be that person that made it seem like every day was going to be great and that there would be no troubles or circumstances that we would have to face together.” THIS!!! Y’all, I would type it again if it would’t make the post so long you stop reading. I have told my husband, I love you, but I do not like you right now. Relationships of any nature require work. Marriage? Marriage is hard work, it is a choice. It is choosing the same person every single day, even when they have worn your nerves down to nothing and even hearing them breathe makes your jaw clench. Her post made me think about my own marriage.
What makes us work? Each person has to remain true to who they are, it is so easy to get lost in someone else, but remain true to you – it is a must. For us, we do this by having me time, you time and our time. No we don’t call it that, I just came up with those titles, but it fits. There are things I do without Kyle, that he does without me and then the things we do together. For this to truly work, you CANNOT keep score. It is not one for one. Kyle might go on 4 golf trips before I take an afternoon for sister therapy or girls group hang out. Or I can go do things 3 weekends in a row before Kyle swings a club or goes fishing. It is about keeping yourself charged. I appreciate this about our relationship. I love being able to go and do what I want and whenever, but I also love the times we just sit at home watching sports until bedtime. I also selfishly enjoy the time when he is on a trip. It gives me extra me time, which is always nice.
Kyle and I have both been able to keep our identities while growing together and sharing a life. What have we had to work on most? Our communication styles. For as much as we are alike on a lot of things, we could not be more different on the way we communicate and express our feelings. I have said countless times, “It is not what you are saying, but HOW you are saying it.” The old saying, “There’s more than one way to skin a cat,” fits here perfectly. Communication styles are vast; I had to not only work on how I communicated to him, but I had to adjust the way that I was receiving communication FROM him. We both had to work on these areas, we still have to work on this.
This is a choice we both make daily. How are we working on this? For me, I call Kyle out when he says something that is an asshole comment. He will tell me when I’m being a wee bit dramatic. I don’t wait for him to send me a sweet, random text, I text him. I’m sure sometimes more than he wants, but I text him whenever I think of him during the day. He makes sure there are always cokes at our house. I make sure he always has Q-tips, the actual Q-tip brand too. He makes sure our towels are and sheets are washed, I keep trash bags in the bins. These might seem like small things, but let me tell you what I’ve learned….it IS the small things. It is the small things that matter and add up to make the big memories. It is the SMALL THINGS you miss most when someone leaves your life. That is how we are choosing each other, and that is how we work on us.
I do not want to give the impression that our relationship is rainbows and butterflies all the time. We are just like everyone else with ups and downs, great days, good days and some gloomy days. I’ve almost hit send on a text to my mother in law asking about the refund policy more than once. Many days I’m thankful my dad passed down his selective hearing gene to me, I use it OFTEN. Even on those days, we both make the choice to stand side by side. This is not my terrible attempt to provide relationship advice, not in the least. This is me being open about where we are now in our marriage and relationship. This is me expressing my appreciation for my marriage and the relationship I have with Kyle. This is me saying marriage is hard work, and that my marriage will always be a work in progress – even in the good times!
So as we enter our 7th year, I don’t have a 7 year itch….I have the holy crap it’s been 7 years?! How did that go by so quickly, yet also feel like a lifetime ago?!? I have the I am so proud of us, what are we going to tackle next tingle, not itch……
PS – I did not let Kyle read this prior to posting. We tend to have the it’s better to ask forgiveness thing going….usually that is only reserved for when one of us brings home a foster dog or 4, but when in Rome, right?
Facebook Friend Quote: Callie Gresham https://www.facebook.com/callie.finney